The Unexpected Loss During Adoption


In this, our 3rd & 4th Adoption, I've definitely noticed some patterns.

One in particular is the deafening silence from a few key people .

Those whom you would just think... "surely, they are in my corner!"

"I would be in theirs if this scenario were flipped!"

"I can count on their friendship and support through this."

I am not at all talking about financial support, just straight up excitement....running the race alongside of you.

Feeling it with you.

Praying, and being IN it with you.

With each Adoption this has happened.

It's never the same people, and never many....just a couple.

But their absence stings nonetheless. 

What I've also seen though, is how, in their place, God always seems to bring these beautiful surprises.

Friends that you did NOT expect to be so involved...and here they are, cheering you on, breathing life into you.

It's as if they are flowers that sprung up, overnight, in your garden! 🌹🌺🌻🌼

You don't know how, but you sure are happy to see them.

You needed them more than they realized.

As I noticed this trend coming back for this Adoption, I wasn't surprised, but my heart still felt it.

God whispered a familiar phrase to me.

One that He's whispered to me several times over my life....and I'm guessing He will say it again in years to come.

"Reject rejection!".

He did not whisper it like coach, He whispered it like a command that I had better heed, if I'm wise!

A reminder that I DO get to choose, to reject it, or let it dig its roots into my heart.

If it's perceived (unintentional) rejection, or outright blatant rejection...WE must reject it!

Rejection is not your/my friend!

It will enter your heart in seemingly small doses...but like a hungry dog it will stick close to whomever feeds it.

It will leave the door open for its nasty tagalong friends, self pity, bitterness and pride.

Does it hurt when you feel the loss of friendships/family that you thought you knew? Yes.

Give that to Jesus!

Ask him for fresh eyes..... because, you may see gaps where things once grew, but look again!

There are flowers everywhere!


(Honestly, I felt compelled to share, because Adoption absolutely aside, I think this word is for some of YOU too! 🌺)

Thank you to Mindy Wise for sharing your journey!


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Traci Mai

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